Remembering a long ago time

                A Youth on the Stairs               5-14-01

Years from the past I remember-

        sailing a Star in mid-September.

But...But the mist all around-about,

Is it the spray over the starboard bow

        with the sheetlines awash

        and the sea streaming off of the jib...

Or is it the memory of the past washed out somehow?

The salty spray of the Mississippi Sound

Reddens my eyes as I reach out to the Horn.

Closing my eyes, I drift in the distances

        of miles by the thousands

        and soon I am lost imagining atolls and lagoons,

        pure beaches and reefs of magnificent corals.

With a jerk, I awaken and find myself in an Astro van

        hurling up I-85 with six kids and a wife,

        heading to a house on a small hill at the foot

        of the Blue Ridge Mountains, ending with a sigh

        in northeast Georgia.

But, what happened?  What happened?  What happened?

A dry tear fights its way to an eye.

With pale face and shaky grip, I realize

That the dreams that could have been--

        they became the prey of the fears ravaging within,

        exactly like the shoals and heartless breakers

        that splinter the keels of so many boats.

And as I turn onto the familiar gravel road,

I groan within as I understand what has happened.

        (They only see me as stern.)

But they didn't know the youth on the stairs

        with his possibilities,

        gone down in the gales of his own fears.

by

Ernie Lawton